Like shit...pressure rolls downhill.

I have a bit of a sailor mouth.

I’ve been in sales- for 25 years. The end of quarter pressure, the "numbers" pressure, the- your boss is having a bad day pressure, the kids are screaming in the back seat pressure....it rolls downhill, and it lands right smack in our laps.

Many years ago, I had spent countless nights not sleeping over this one deal. This single deal that I wanted so badly to close to prove I was finally capable. A $15M deal for my portion of a $30M deal.

Y'all, that's the "not finishing college chip" that sits on my shoulder.

This deal that took well over a year was coming to a head, with visibility from all the corporate executives in multiple countries. The pressure from one leader down to another and landing squarely on me…was...debilitating. Looking back, I often ask myself, why did I care so much?

I think it was because I wanted to prove something to myself and achieve approval.

It was 6 am, I was on vacation, and I was sitting in the corner of my brother's beach house with coffee in hand, laptop in my lap, with tears just falling down my face.

His advice- it’s just a job. You can do this but if you aren’t happy, then don’t.

He knew I could do it. He listened. He also watched me be distant and stressed.

The PRESSURE had finally gotten to me. It consumed me. I wasn't present or in the moment with my family that day. I sat staring at them, playing games, but primarily- I was thinking. What did I need to do next to get this deal closed?

I wiped my tears and got on with it.

I did close the deal. Our CEO discussed it on Mad Money. It was a huge accomplishment. I also lost countless nights of sleep and precious time with my family that I could not get back. And blood pressure medicine was added to my increasing prescriptions.

Life/Work balance- is it real?

I’ve learned it is only real when we choose to set boundaries. This day and this lesson confirmed- this was not how I would live.

Change began that day and geared me up for what became my largest career battle ever.