"I thought I'd at least recognize your face..."

Said the mom picking up my daughter for a fun movie night.

My daughter was in second grade. I was so excited for her to make new friends. I was traveling on a business trip, which was nearly every week or every other week. I agreed she could be picked up, and I was racing home from the airport to get there in time to meet her new friend and her mom. I walked in the door with 15 minutes to spare.

At the time, I was a single mom sharing custody of my children. I wanted to be the mom who baked the cookies from scratch and went to the PTA religiously, but I wasn't. I was the mom who donated funds for everything instead.

I got my daughter dressed and gave her some money for the movies. I saw the car approach and walked down the driveway to meet the parents. Being a traveling working mom is also sometimes isolating. I was equally as excited to meet the mom. Maybe a new friend?

She opened the door, dressed head to toe in her workout gear, and me standing there barefoot and still in my work clothes. The first thing she said was, "I thought I'd at least recognize your face?”

She went on to explain that she was new to the area and, over the last couple of months, she became a copy mom (if you've done it, you know what I am talking about), a lunchroom volunteer, and PTA member, and of course, a regular meeting attendee. She assumed I went to all of these things and she just hadn't formally met me.

She was genuinely surprised she didn't recognize my face.

"Guess you don't make it to the school very often?”, she said, with that underlying tone that makes any mama lion's claws come out.

The competitive tone that I was less of a mom because I wasn’t active at school cut through me like a knife.

What I wanted to say:

F *** you.

What I said:

I'm glad you at least recognized my name. That must be from all the checks I write to the school (insert shitty sarcastic tone).

Caddy...I know. I was hurt. I was angry. I wanted to scream. I ended up crying when I went inside. No, she would not be a new friend.

All mothers want to be EVERYTHING. We want a career. We want to be there with our kids for every milestone. We want to do it all...

But we have to choose. And when you're a single mom- sometimes you have to choose the path that pays the bills. And, for me that meant getting up at 4am, making lunches, getting kids ready so I could catch a plane at 9am, fly all over the country and return home by 2am. Every other week.

It is so hard. But it is more challenging with insensitive people. I tried to be at as many events as possible and I mostly made it to all that were important to my children.

Being a stay at home mom or working mom are not entirely different so why do we treat each other differently? Why do we force each other to feel guilty over our choices or our path?

We moms wish we were superhuman- I promise.

Be kind.