Communication

I read a story today about the differences between women and men and how they communicate in business. I had to put pen to paper.

I once had a leader and someone I considered a friend who consistently told me I needed to communicate differently. Less directly, with more ”honey.”

This weighed on me, and I tried, over and over, to change how I communicated so as to meet his standards. After a few years- I had enough and pushed back with a vengeance. Let me explain further.

If you put me and several men together in a room, put on blindfolds, disguise our voices, and have us read the same direct statements- the message would be received the same.

For example, “No, we are unable to negotiate that line in the contract.”

But, with blindfolds off and voice-altering devices turned off, I, as a woman, would need to change how I communicate so it isn’t received as being too direct or bold.

For example, “ I am so sorry, I wish there was something I could do, I’m just unable to make any changes. Please understand I am trying my very best to accommodate your needs.”

This expectation that women need to say, please, speak with an apologetic tone, and suppress directness or boldness so not to offend or to have our message heard- is unacceptable and needs further evaluation. The fact we have to alter anything so we can “manage up“ or have our message better received is ridiculous.

It’s time we stop asking women to communicate differently than men when we are delivering the same message.