12B oh how I loath thee...

12B was my seat of choice when flying weekly/monthly. Each week, I'd climb into my seat on Delta Airlines, open my laptop, and start my work. Flying became less of a fear and more of a part of my daily routine.

Step 1- put on headphones. That's right, I am an introvert/extrovert. And while I like meeting people, I do enough of that for work. Air time is my time. That includes music and emails. Sometimes I even get a good movie in!

I enjoyed traveling and I enjoyed being a mom. Doing both simultaneously and as a single mom was very hard. I won't sugarcoat it, sometimes I was sitting in flight with tears running down my face. I just wanted to be home. At the same time, I loved the thrill of developing new relationships. Especially overcoming difficult ones or working with people who were frustrated. I lived in a state of conflicting emotions!

Then...COVID-19.

We entered into a global pandemic and the world just stopped. People retreated and life became very different.

I LOVED EVERY MINUTE OF IT.

At first, I was terrified. I thought about my family, friends, my job, and the opportunities in my pipeline. And then I realized this was a gift. Finally, travel for work had a chance to change.

Our world adapted quite quickly and I credit technology for that. People were able to continue to stay connected face to face without having to be face to face. And while this was fantastic, it was also difficult to build that same level of rapport and relationships as I once did in person.

Was it possible I was missing seat 12B?

On the flip side, I got to be present with my kids. For the first time, I was home all the time and so were they! Yet they weren't little children anymore. They were high school students and the last thing they wanted to do was snuggle with their mom. I found myself wishing the COVID-19 pandemic would've happened 5 years earlier.

Yet, I still found myself grateful for the pandemic and the time. Even though my kids were young adults and needed their own space, I was able to enjoy dinner time banter and hear all about their life. It was often like an out-of-body experience. I consciously watched and appreciated every moment with them. I wasn't stressed about upcoming travel or leaving them during something important. I was there. Present and in the moment.

As I step into this new phase where one is in college and the other one going next year, I am both excited for them and their future while still feeling like I just didn't have enough time with them. I want to hold on tight and beg them to stay. I just want...a little more time.

Reflecting on the time I sacrificed with them always comes with mixed emotions. But they know all of my travel for work was to continue climbing higher so I can give them more.

In a nutshell, that's what it always boiled down to for me. Ensuring my kids had a comfortable life and a future.

As an almost empty nester, I am going to get back to flying but this time, I am taking these young adults with me as often as I can. Finally combining my travel and my family!